From stand-ins that weren't stand-outs to rags, riches and Rashers

RADIO REVIEW:THE LITTLE radio station that could, Newstalk, has made a virtue out of its presenters taking time off. Sean Moncrieff took several days off Moncrieff(weekdays) this week. As amiable and able a broadcaster as he is, I can only take him in small doses: if I get too much of him, like too much Budget coverage or mulled wine, I need dolphin music, a dark room and a lie-down.

Big Brotherwinner Brian Dowling and Jennifer Maguire, a contestant from the UK version of The Apprentice, presented for Moncrieff on Monday, comedian Des Bishop stepped in Tuesday, and Lorraine Keane and musician Peter Devlin were on Thursday. I can't help feeling Newstalk is chasing publicity rather than nurturing its home-grown talent. Listeners tend to like consistency over gimmicks.

Maguire gave Dowling a "Wayhay!" for his first link. They were lots of "Omigods!", plenty of naval gazing, Dowling plugging his panto, and hyperventilating about The X Factor, Botox and Tiger Woods. One pained listener later lamented on the Newstalk website that his ears were bleeding.

Comedian Des Bishop initially struggled with his script, but it was his first time. He was 10 – make that 100 – times better than the previous duo.“And then there were seven,” said guest Amanda Brunker of Tiger Woods’s alleged affairs. “The latest birdie . . . ” Bishop interrupted: “Emendah! Em gonna hev to reign you in.” And they were off.

Of course, the straight-laced Anton Savage is king of the fill-ins. He has stepped into the Hush Puppies of Ryan Tubridy, Matt Cooper and, most recently, Ray D'Arcy. But beware of stand-ins: Tom Dunne did The Ray D'Arcy Showon Today FM last year and weeks later began a rival show on Newstalk. Still, if I were Moncrieff, sipping a cup of hot Lemsip, I wouldn't be too worried.

For the last couple of months, The Gerry Ryan Show(2FM, weekdays) has been sponsored by Low Low, an interesting choice considering the popular presenter likes to talk about his high-living lifestyle, and has been known to have gourmet chefs in the studio so he can gorge on course after course live on air.

Ryan had his Christmas stocking out on Tuesday. “I’m delving into my sack,” he said. Probably used to too many double entendres on this show, a female caller replied: “I’m all aflutter!” He gave away designer coats and spa weekends to callers. But Ryan came across more like a self-styled benevolent Roman emperor than wholesome Father Christmas.

The most obvious segue here is the anti-Santa, Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan. Most cars stuck in traffic played his fire-and-brimstone Budget speech on Wednesday. Fine Gael finance spokesman Richard Bruton didn't pull any punches, as heard on Drivetime(RTÉ Radio 1, weekdays): "Fianna Fáil didn't heed the warnings, and drove this economy onto the rocks."

Before hearing the speech, Mary Wilson called it “the most feared Budget speech in the State’s history.” That was a new level of hyperbole, even for me. We usually fear the unknown, and this Budget was well-flagged. Newsreader Anne Doyle was well able to outline €4 billion in spending cuts before the fact. The best way to avoid getting overly upset is to avoid the frenzied build-up.

Fast-forward to the morning after the night before. Most economists called the Budget politically brave, but on The Breakfast Show(Newstalk, weekdays) Kevin Callinan from the trade union Impact said of Lenihan: "He's going to politicise public servants like they've never been politicised in the history of the State."

Even presenter Ivan Yates said he “was quite shocked at the steely, raw determination of the public sector unions”.

Fine Gael’s George Lee was unhappy with the public versus private sector split: “The Government has effectively set sectors against each other. The idea that there’s some difference between us is fake and false.” He also said: “It’s a race against time. The big fear is that will raise interest rates over the next 12-18 months, and we won’t be ready for that.”

John Fitzgerald from the Economic and Social Research Institute got the prize for best quote: “I think the public sector is cross.” And that’s why we love mild-mannered economists.

On Thursday's Tubridy Show(RTÉ Radio 1, weekdays), actor David Kelly spoke about playing an impoverished and ravaged Rashers Tierney on James Plunkett's Strumpet Cityat the tender age of 50. "I always looked like a slightly depressed iguana," he said. Welcome to our world.