‘Ireland is a home for my children. They wouldn’t know Kenya, they know Ireland’

Margaret Ndiritu came to Ireland seeking refuge in November 2019 with her husband and baby daughter, and was placed in a direct provision centre in Co Cork.

Now, she has a three-year-old son, alongside her now four-year-old daughter, and the family live in Glanmire, Co Cork.

Ndiritu’s husband is a full-time student in MTU Cork. Ndiritu is studying a two-year part-time diploma in autism studies in University College Cork, attending classes every Tuesday after her husband returns from college.

“It’s a bit hard for us but we manage, like I’ll do the part-time class and because it’s all on Tuesday and it’s handy for all of us and during the day, I can spend time with the kids so for him he goes to school. So you see, it’s handy, we manage it,” she says.

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She decided to pursue this course after her son was diagnosed with autism, to help understand him as best she could.

Receiving a Sanctuary Scholarship allowed her to do the course. She completed a level-five course in healthcare in Cork College of Commerce while in direct provision, receiving help for that from St Vincent de Paul.

“It was hard but at least I managed, coming out of it with a level five in there.”

“I have always done them [the courses] in the evening because during the day I take care of my kids and in the evening, when my husband is done with school, he’ll come and take care of them and then I’ll go to school,” Ndiritu says.

When her son reached about a year old and was not responding to his name, Ndiritu knew everything was not as it should be. So she told the public nurse, who told her to wait until he was 18 months old before proceeding, which she did, but things stayed the same.

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He was referred for hearing tests, which he passed, but Ndiritu knew he was showing signs of autism even before the report came back. He was not playing with other children, instead staying away from them.

“I could see everything, I was now waiting for the report because I could see all the signs of autism in him so I knew for me to understand him I had to study what his diagnosis is and for me to help with his daily routine, to get the best therapists for him, that was the main thing, that’s why I said I have to look for a course I can do,” she says.

Ndiritu says she has do a lot of research for her assignments but receives good support and help from her lecturers.

She understands that life always comes with challenges, and tries to take them in her stride, she adds.

“It’s really hard, you left everything and now you’re coming here to another country, settling is really hard but at times when you look at the positive side it’s good, but it’s a bit really hard, you have to get used to everything, the weather, the cold, I would say mostly the weather [though],” she says.

Her children view Ireland as home. They have never visited anywhere else, and her son was born here.

“It’s a home for them, they wouldn’t know Kenya, they know Ireland,” Ndiritu says.

She and her husband plan to stay in Cork for the foreseeable future.

“We have found peace here, a home here, and definitely I have made friends from here and from different countries,” she says, referencing the hospitality of Irish people who were of help to her and her family while they were in direct provision.

“Home is home, even though I’m in Ireland, home is always, east or west. Home is the best because you always have those childhood memories of the place you grew up in, even though you move to another country you will always have those childhood memories,” Ndiritu says.

“Having lived in Kenya for almost over 20-something years, I still have those memories and I cherish them,” she adds.

Currently, her son is in preschool and Ndiritu is in the process of finding an early intervention unit for him.

“He got his full assessment in October so getting an early intervention for September is a bit hard because there are very few early intervention schools at the moment so if he won’t get a place in the early intervention, we adjust him for an SNA [special needs assistant], ASD [autism spectrum disorder] unit for him,” she says.

“Right now, I’m aspiring to be an SNA and mostly to help I would say the migrant mums [who] will come in here [to Ireland] and do not have information about the resources that are available for your kids, it’s a bit hard but having a language barrier it can be really, really hard for them to know what kind of resources I can get for my child.”

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“It’s my hope to work with those mums and guide them. When your child is diagnosed with autism you go through like, a grieving period, which is really hard when you do not have people around you to support you. It can be mentally draining,” she says.

Another struggle that Ndiritu has faced while being a full-time carer to her son in Ireland is not having anyone, such as parents, who can help out with aspects like child-minding.

“But I always say, every day we move forward, with my son, I will say, each day we move forward, no going back.”

We would like to hear from people who have moved to Ireland in the past 10 years. To get involved, email newtotheparish@irishtimes.com or tweet @newtotheparish