Miriam Lord's Week

Legal eagle denies soaring into RTÉ role; Donie Cassidy talks cents in Seanad row; Fianna Fáil eager to close door on Bertie ad

McDowell rules out a rumble with Vincent

MICHAEL McDOWELL doesn’t know how the rumour started, but he assures us he will not be joining RTÉ as Ranelagh’s answer to Vincent Browne.

The former Tánaiste and PD leader is bemused by the story – currently sweeping media circles – that he is about to go head-to-head with TV3’s popular late night politics programme.

"I saw a piece about this in the Evening Heraldthe other week. I have no idea where it came from – nobody from RTÉ has been in contact with me." That story had McDowell as frontrunner to host a nightly current affairs show, with Charlie Bird and Eamon Dunphy also mentioned as possibles. Apparently, he made such a big impression on the suits in Montrose when he presented an episode of Ireland's Greatest that they immediately saw his box office potential.

“He hasn’t been directly approached with an offer yet but there is definite talk that he would be perfect for a more permanent TV series” is what an RTÉ “source” said to the Herald.

Meanwhile, this column was told yesterday that McDowell is “in advanced negotiations.” This information, swore our informant, came from somebody who heard it from somebody “at the highest level.” So we rang senior counsel McDowell. “There is absolutely no truth in this story. None whatsoever. I have my law career and I am devoting all my time to that.” What a pity. Now that he’s out of politics, a Vincent Browne-style platform would have given dog-lover McDowell a chance to release his inner Rottweiller for a nice spot of savaging before bedtime.

As for RTÉ, it seems the search for someone to take on Vincent continues.

Whole Kitt and kaboodle out for Bridie

Happy birthday to Bridie Kitt, who travelled from her home outside Ballinasloe on Wednesday for a big 90th birthday celebration in her honour at Leinster House.

Bridie is undoubtedly the most successful political mother in Ireland. Three of her eight children are members of the Dáil: Michael Kitt, Tom Kitt and minister of State, Áine Brady. Her late husband Michael F Kitt was a long-time deputy until his death, while still a serving TD, in 1974.

The family was out in force for this special occasion. Bridie, who wore an elegant heather tweed suit, was belle of the ball during a dinner in the Oireachtas restaurant which was attended by all her children and their spouses and most of her 23 grandchildren. Her musically talented grandchildren – they include singer David Kitt – performed a number of songs.

Taoiseach Brian Cowen dropped by to say hello, along with Minister Brian Lenihan. Eamon Gilmore – a neighbour’s child – was among the large number of politicians from all parties who called in. Independent deputy, Finian McGrath, who is from Tuam, proudly told everyone his mother was the midwife who delivered all eight Kitts.

Biffo’s early advice goes down a treat in Cork

The Taoiseach was in Cork University Hospital yesterday for the opening of a new cardiac unit. It was a very pleasant occasion — one of the patients even sang “De Banks” for him. The annual jazz festival is in full swing this bank holiday weekend. Brian was asked if he would be staying around to sample some of the music. Regretfully, he said he couldn’t.

Then (God knows why) he was asked if he had any message for people attending the festival. Biffo smirked and wagged his finger: “Go home early, lads!”

Harris spiel fails to cut mustard with Donie

Eoghan Harris went on Morning Ireland on Wednesday to make the rather reasonable point that his political colleagues in Leinster House should show leadership by taking an independent 10pc pay cut.

Donie Cassidy was not best pleased.

“I listened with great attention to him,” he told the Seanad. “I place on record that Senators have taken a 10 per cent cut already in our wages. That was not pointed out this morning. The presenter said we were on a salary of €70,000, but we are no such thing. As we all know we have taken a 10 per cent cut as the Taoiseach requested and we did it in the national interest,” said the Seanad leader.

Afterwards, the two senators were observed by colleagues having a heated discussion just outside the chamber, although we hear the heat was entirely generated by one side, with Paschal Mooney acting as peacemaker in the middle. Eoghan, for possibly the first time ever, appeared to have been rendered speechless by what Donie said to him.

We hear it went something like this: “For God’s sake, we’ve taken enough cuts. I’m a married man with a wife and four children to support on a senator’s salary.” You can understand why Mr Harris was lost for words. He looked shocked all day.

There are three salary scales for senators. This is what they earn now: €65,621.00, basic. €67,634.00, 7-10 years service. €69,647.00, more than 10 years service.

In Donie’s case, he earns the basic salary, plus a Leader’s Allowance of €19,439, which brings him up to €85,060, before expenses. The father of four grown-up sons also has extensive business interests.

Lama talk slaughtered under Senators’ noses

The bould Donie was in fine form this week, pulling off a great stroke under the noses of his Fine Gael colleagues.

FG have come up with a bill on Seanad reform. It specifically concerns a group of people very dear to most senators — the councillors of Ireland, who vote 43 of our 60 senators into their jobs after each general election.

These precious souls – senators have been known to shower them with gifts – held their annual conference in Listowel earlier this month. Their representative organisation is the Local Authority Members Association, or Lama. Quite a few senators made the pilgrimage to Kerry to meet them – Donie among them.

In their bill, Fine Gael propose to give Lama a greater say in the Seanad election process. Fianna Fáil is voting against it, although they really don’t want to upset the councillors.

FG’s Jerry Buttimer stirred things up by asking if it was true that Donie attended the Listowel conference and “endorsed the Bill and promised Government support for it in Government time . . . If it is, why is the Government doing a U-turn and reneging on its commitment?”

As the discussion continued towards a vote Donie had a brainwave. Given that so many people still wanted to speak and time was running out, he would adjourn the debate and “roll it over” to a later date.

When the Opposition protested Donie said he would “endeavour to put it on the Order Paper for next week.” “Will the Leader assure us that he will?” said Maurice Cummins (FG).

“I give the house an assurance on next week” Donie solemnly declared. Next week’s schedule has landed. No sign of the Lama bill.

We assume Donie is following the example set by his predecessor Mick Lannigan, who was known to slide out of awkward situations by explaining the important difference between “a commitment and a binding commitment.”

Martin sees romantic side of ratings agencies

Micheál Martin actually came up with a funny line at the European Affairs Committee on Thursday.

His party colleague, Thomas Byrne, had been railing against the ratings agencies, trotting out the standard line about how these geniuses gave triple A ratings to subprime mortgage lenders and the like.

The Minister, in an omnibus reply to a number of questions, responded to his contribution thus: “Deputy Byrne referred to dating agencies . . . eh, sorry, rating agencies . . . I’m beginning to sound like some of the French ministers now.”

Plain sailing for official Luas opening

Last Saturday’s official opening of the Luas Cherrywood extension was a surreal affair, by all accounts. The extension – two stops of which won’t open because development never took place – was launched by the Taoiseach in an unfinished building belonging to Treasury Holdings. So in a way, Biffo was a guest of Nama.

In the grey gloom of this shell, he joked it was “pitch dark” and he couldn’t read his speech, although a couple of lights had been hastily strung up behind him. There was no ceiling.

Ciarán Cuffe of the Greens was doing his Kennedy-esque best “I want to speak to you of the past, the present and the future,” he trilled. The tram took off on a rollicking jaunt through unfinished apartment blocks and weed-strewn industrial sites, trundling past the gates of the British Ambassador’s house.

“How does he get out?” wondered the Biff.

There was a hairy moment on the platform after the speeches.

The Taoiseach emerged just as the brass band were getting stuck into a spirited rendition of “What Shall We Do With the Drunken Sailor? (early in the morning).” His handler nearly fainted.

Enda presses the issue of Bertie’s sporting ad

It took a while for Bertie’s infamous Elf on the Shelf incident to surface in the Dáil, but Enda Kenny spotted an opportunity during Questions to the Taoiseach.

The Ceann Comhairle refused to entertain any talk of the abomination. As for Brian Cowen, his lip remained firmly buttoned.

“I note the Taoiseach’s predecessor appeared in a television advertisement in which he seemed to be sitting in a cupboard, publicising his . . .” began the FG leader.

“Ah now, deputy” spluttered Séamus Kirk.

Biffo glowered. Enda persevered.

“This is about Deputy Ahern publicising his career as a football commentator!” Captain Kirk harrumphed about there being a time and a place for this sort of thing.

“The person I am referring to was elected as the taoiseach of this country on three occasions, an honour that is almost unique. He is still in receipt of public moneys for his service as a public representative.

“Does the Taoiseach believe, in respect of the code of conduct for current and former office-holders, that to have this apparition on the national television screens in what appeared to be a cupboard is conduct becoming? I wish to hear the Taoiseach’s view on it.”

Séamus, perhaps worried that Biffo’s resolve might crack, uttered a plaintive “Taoiseach, this is not really appropriate.” (The question, not advertisements in cupboards.) Bernard Durkan waded in. “Can he do anything he likes? Can he stand on his head?” Not in that press.

All eyes, and ears, were on Brian Cowen.

Enda tried one more time: “I’m sure the Taoiseach has views on this although he might not wish to express them in the Chamber. I’ve asked the question. If he doesn’t want to answer it, he doesn’t want to answer it.” He didn’t.

IT’S A STICK-UP: ABSENT FG CUB STILL A HIGH FLYER

FINE GAEL’S Dublin South East constituency held a big fundraising bash in the Shelbourne Hotel on Wednesday morning, when John Bruton was guest speaker at a breakfast meeting.

Around 320 guests paid €50 a plate for the pleasure of listening to their former party leader – the place was packed.

This should have been a source of great delight to Lucinda Creighton, the party’s standard bearer in the constituency, particularly as there was no sign of her big rival, Cllr Eoghan Murphy. But while the youthful Murphy may not have been physically present, a team of his supporters made sure that out of sight didn’t have to mean out of mind.

Before the breakfast began, they placed a glossy flyer for their man at every plate in the room. “Good morning! Welcome and Thank You for Supporting Us” read a little sticker in the corner.

We hear some of the Creighton camp were mightily put out by the pretender’s impertinence, with some taking their annoyance all the way to Kevin O’Higgins, the constituency chairman.

Expect further rumbles in Ranelagh as election time nears.