Kellie Harrington: ‘I was very confused about my sexuality – and not afraid to be openly confused’

‘I felt comfortable telling my Ma. I’d have been scarlet saying it to my Da’

From the time I was about sixteen, I was very confused about my sexuality – and not afraid to be openly confused. I didn’t care if I kissed a girl or a boy and I didn’t care who knew about it.

I told my Ma.

“Ma, I’m gay.”

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And she said, “Yeah – all right, Kellie.”

She just knew me; it wasn’t a big deal. We were fighting all the time but I felt comfortable telling my Ma. I’d have been scarlet saying it to my Da; I’d have been mortified. But the next week, after telling her I was gay, I’d be kissing a fella and she’d know about it, because news spreads like wildfire in the inner city.

We called it “meeting”. Someone would say, “Here – will you meet me friend?”

“Yeah, right – all right.”

[ Kellie Harrington: ‘There were three escape routes, if we needed to do a quick run’ ]

I’d meet him and we’d go for a walk together. Everyone knew, because I was walking around with him. And it got back to my Ma. One week I’m telling her I’m gay and the next I’m walking down the street, holding hands or linking a fella. I’d no idea what was going on with me but I didn’t really care who knew.

There were a few girls around the area who were gay, and they were out. It was the same thing, though. I’d kiss them but then they wouldn’t hear from me for six months.

‘If I asked for three weeks off because I’m having my period, they’d give me the three weeks’

It’s only in recent years, I think, that there’s an awareness and appreciation of the fact that women in sport have a menstrual cycle – that it’s natural. I make no secret of it, because I’ll eat people without salt during my period. Sometimes I can’t train; I’m bedbound. If I’m feeling a bit tired, I’ll tell my coaches. They’re fine; they don’t bat an eyelid. Zaur claims that I get my period every week.

I had my period during the World Championships in 2016, and at the Olympics in 2021. It seems to fall every time I’m competing. But I can’t not turn up, or say, “Send in a sub.” I know that paracetamol is the safest drug to take. So I take paracetamol and I pretend: I persuade myself that I’m not in bits, suffering with cramps. It’s a “fake it till you make it” kind of approach. When I have my period and I’m feeling a bit sore, I just get on with it. When I feel really bad, I take the day off and give my body a chance to recover. It stops me for a day and a half. I work my way around it. I know exactly when I’m going to have my period – every 26 days, sometimes a day before or after. It can fluctuate when I’m making weight, coming up to a competition, when I’m losing body fat. It’s integrated into my training plan. I plan for everything. I become more emotional, and I recognise this. I know when I’m going to start feeling bad enough to go to bed. If my period starts at, say, eight o’clock, I’ll still train that morning but I’ll skip the session in the afternoon.

There are coaches who haven’t educated themselves

I know women who didn’t have a period for years, because their body fat was so low. It’s not normal for women – or men – to have visibly defined abs. You have to work at it; you don’t come out of the womb with a six-pack on you. A woman with a six-pack or a four-pack has very low body fat, and that might put her menstrual cycle out of sync. Also, it’s harder for a woman to lose weight around the time of her period. I never really struggled with it until recently – because I’m getting older. If I’m boxing on, say, the 27th and I know that my period is coming on the 25th or the 26th, I know that I’ll have to be very strict about my diet, because the weight might not shift as easily as it would do at any other time.

Some female athletes decide to go on the pill, to deal with the menstrual cycle at competitions, so they don’t have to worry about cramps and fatigue and emotional upset. But you can put on weight when you go on the pill. I’m happier working around it, working with it. People in sport are more open about the menstrual cycle now, but it’s still not enough.

There are coaches who haven’t educated themselves. If I asked for three weeks off because I’m having my period, they’d give me the three weeks off rather than be forced to talk about it. There needs to be more open discussion about what women experience once a month – never mind at competitions – and how challenging and difficult it can be to train, or make weight, or box. The coaches need to be better clued in to it.

Extracted from Kellie by Kellie Harrington and Roddy Doyle, published by Sandycove, 27th October.

Kellie will be in conversation with Second Captains at the Dublin Book Festival. Tickets here www.dublinbookfestival.com